Okay so if you don’t know me IRL, then you might not know I wear a retainer because I am missing two of my front teeth cause they never grew in. Basically this is the run down of my dental career.
- Braces in 6th grade
- got them off in 10th grade after my dad embarrassingly yelled at the cute dentist for constantly delaying
- wear a retainer with fake teeth that i have to take out to eat and clean
- get a clear retainer with the fake teeth, a tooth falls out in Scotland and goes down the sink
- turn 18, and the mouth surgery place thinks i’m not ready for implants, delays a year.
- start college with a retainer, which makes it hard on my schedule
- think I’m getting teeth in July, have mouth surgery only to realize that they only put metal posts in my gums
- Have an appointment before thanksgiving, sets up a date for prep during winter break, with teeth two weeks later
- they decide they want another appointment, moving my teeth date back
So i went in to get my teeth shade matched up. I set up my teeth date for the friday before i go to the Arctic Monkeys concert, which i have to skip class for. Then they tell me they can’t decide on the shade of teeth and sent me to the place that does it. This is 20 miles away in Tampa.
I go to the address they give me, no teeth place. I notice both papers they gave me had different addresses. I call and confirm it’s the other address. I drive past it because its a small place that has road sign, and a SUV is blocking the sign on the building. I walk in, and it’s literally a Vietnamese family’s house. They were expecting me. They were super nice and got the color.
I am so tired of this shit holy crap. I just want to be normal.
My quadmate took like, a 20 minute shower while I was waiting to shower. But like, how does someone spend that long in the shower? I honestly can’t remember the last time I showered by myself that lasted more 5 minutes.
Water was warm, tho.
SOMEONE SEND HELP, MY ROOMMATE IS BADLY SINGING JIMMY BUFFET. I CAN HEAR HIM OVER MY HEADPHONES.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
I keep having dreams. In in those dreams, there are very realistic scenes and locations. Like, too vivid to imagine. I have this nagging feeling that all of those places are real somewhere.